Sunday, February 27, 2005

My Oscar Picks

Only a few hours left til The Oscars and boy howdy am I excited. This is the superbowl for us movie geeks and even if you're not a huge fan of all the nominees it's great fun to watch (except when they have Savion Glover do improv dance tributes to nominees, that was a scary year and let's hope the improvography is behind us).

So just for kicks and giggles here are my guesses for who'll win and a list in my opinion of who actually deserves to win.

Best Original Screenplay
The Aviator
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Hotel Rawanda
The Incredibles
Vera Drake

Who Deserves it: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Charlie Kaufman
Who Will Win: Charlie Kaufman
The academy will feel bad about not nominating it for Best Picture and will give Sunshine the award in this category. Of course that said I think it deserves this award.

Best Adapted Screenplay
Before Sunset
Finding Neverland
Million Dollar Baby
The Motorcycle Diaries

Who Deserves it: Finding Neverland, David Magee
Who Will Win: Sideways, Alexander Payne and Jim Taylor
Finding Neverland was so layered, taking an actual relationship J.M. Barrie had with a young woman and her 4 boys and showing us his possible inspirations for the story of Peter Pan. It's such an engrossing story, even if it's facts are not quite right. But hey it's just a movie, not a biography.

Best Supporting Actress
Cate Blanchet, The Aviator
Laura Linney, Kinsey
Virgina Madsen, Sideways
Sophie Okanedo, Hotel Rwanda
Natalie Portman, Closer

Who Deserves it: Cate Blanchett, The Aviator
Who Will Win: Laura Linney, Kinsey
Cate Blanchett is a truely amazing actress, she's great in everything, but this I think is her best performance to date. In The Aviator she made the over the top personality, Katherine Hepburn, believable and even sympathetic. Which is a real task in my opinion cause I hate Katherine Hepburn with a firey passion.

Best Supporting Actor
Alan Alda, The Aviator
Thomas Haden Church, Sideways (I can't believe Lowell is nominated for an Oscar, yuck!)
Jaimie Foxx, Collateral
Morgan Freeman, Million Dollar Baby
Clive Owen, Closer

Who Deserves it: I'll just say Morgan Freeman, because out of all the nominees he comes closest to deserving the award, though this is pretty run of the mill acting from the man who is always cast as the older sage type.
Who Will Win: Alan Alda, The Aviator
Another servicable, rangeless, performance from Alda, whom I almost never like. The academy never misses a chance to give the supporting actor Oscar to an actor whose body of work they admire, whether or not they actually think the nominated performance deserves the win or not. Well here grandpa Alan we know you are close to death so here's your Oscar. We'd hate for you to die without us showing our undying love.

Best Actress
Anette Benning, Being Julia
Catalina Sandino Moreno, Maria Full of Grace
Imelda Staunton, Vera Drake
Hilary Swank, Million Dollar Baby
Kate Winslet, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Who Deserves it: Hilary Swank
Who Will Win: Hilary Swank
Okay, I'll admit it, I'm conflicted here. I'm a huge fan of Kate Winslet and think she was terrific in Sunshine but Hilary was slightly better in Million Dollar Baby. If I may borrow a comment I heard recently, very few actresses get the role of a lifetime and Hilary's had two. I can't wait to see what's next for her.

Best Actor
Don Cheadle, Hotel Rwanda
Johnny Depp, Finding Neverland
Leonardo DiCaprio, The Aviator
Clint Eastwood, Million Dollar Baby
Jaimie Foxx, Ray

Who Deserves it: Clint Eastwood, Million Dollar Baby
Who Will Win: Jaimie Fox, Ray
Don't get me wrong, Jainie Fox was near unrecognizable in Ray but he was very over the top. Anyone whose ever done any acting will tell you it's a lot easier to be over the top, than it is to play a role dead on straight which Clint Eastwood has done with precision.

Best Director
Martin Scorsese, The Aviator
Clint Eastwood, Million Dollar Baby
Taylor Hackford, Ray
Alexander Payne, Sideways
Mike Liegh, Vera Drake

Who Deserves it: Clint Eastwood, Million Dollar Baby
Who Will Win: Clint Eastwood Million Dollar Baby
I didn't want to see this movie. I rarely like the movies he acts in and don't usually like the movies he directs. They are typically hard edged things with stories and characters that keep me at arms length, not this one however. Million Dollar Baby starts of fun and then takes you in a direction you never saw coming. Clint Eastwood deserves this award and it would be ashame if he loses.

Best Picture
The Aviator
Finding Neverland
Million Dollar Baby

Who Deserves it: Million Dollar Baby
Who Will Win: Million Dollar Baby
This is a category I'm not very sure about, you've already heard my Million Dollar Baby rants and it definatly deserves this award, but I think out of all the nominees I enjoyed Finding Neverland best. It had the most I was able to relate to and just really grabbed hold of me. Now that said, over all, Million Dollar Baby is best.

Now I bet every one of my guesses is wrong, but what's the point of betting on a horse race if you know which one will win?

Enjoy the Oscars,

Saturday, February 26, 2005

Movie of the Week: Barbarella


"And the moral of this story is never lean on the weird. Or they will chop your head off. And perverts will eat your brains." - Hunter S. Thompson

The year is 40.000. Peacefully floating around in zero-gravity Barbarella (Jane Fonda) is suddenly interrupted by a call from the President of Earth. A young scientist, Duran-Duran, is threatening the ancient universal peace and Barbarella is the chosen one to find him and save the world. During her mission, Barbarella never finds herself in a situation where it isn't possible to lose at least part of her already minimal dressing.

Fun trivia:

SoGo, the evil city Barberella travels to, is a reference to Biblical cities Sodom and Gomorra.

Future Pink Floyd guitarist David Gilmour was one of the session musicians who performed the film's original score. (A favorite album in my collection)

The scenes during the opening credits where Barbarella seems to float around her spaceship were filmed by having Jane Fonda lie on a huge piece of plexiglas with a picture of the spaceship underneath her. It was then filmed from above, creating the illusion that she is in zero gravity. (If you look carefully, you can see the reflection in the glass as she removes her gloves.)

Dildano's password, "Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch", is the name of a real village in Wales, United Kingdom (unsurprisingly, it's the longest place name in the UK).

 Fun quotes:
Barbarella: De-crucify the angel!
The Great Tyrant: What?
Barbarella: De-crucify him or I'll melt your face!

Barbarella: You mean they could still be living in a primitive state of neurotic irresponsibility?

Barbarella: A good many dramatic situations begin with screaming.

Pygar: An angel does not make love, an angel *is* love.

If you haven't seen this movie you really should.

Friday, February 25, 2005

Pin-up of the week, Asia Argento. I still can't get used to her with the blonde hair but I really like this shot of her. Posted by Hello

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Have it your way?

So I swore to myself that I wasn't going to watch American Idol again this season. Really I did! But a lot of good that did me. Okay I admit it I watched the first season of the show, routed for Kelly almost from the beginning god knows why, some of her singles have been listenable but I'd never by one of her albums in a million years. Maybe it was just cause she looked like a prima donna compared to that Side-Show Mel looking mother-fucker, Justin Guarini. All in all I was glad she won.

Second season my favorite was voted off on the first audience poll episode yet I kept watching.Rueben and Clay had a ton of charisma and I will admit part of me thought it would be great to see the two of them go off and make buddy films like Bob Hope and Bing Crosby. Then again, From Justin to Kelly is one of the worst movies ever made (not that I can make it all the way through the thing).

Third season watched the auditions, cause that's the best part and the first few of the audience poll episodes. Talk about boring. There was serious lack of original talent or charisma and they lost me about half way through. It was probably all for the best since Fantasia won and she was my least favorite contestant. "I broke my shoe"? What the fuck was that all about?

So after the lame experience of last season, I swore I wouldn't watch again. Then I started to see commercials for the auditions and gradually I gave in. Okay, I'd watch the auditions and that was it! But apparently I have no will of my own and despite my best efforts have once again gotten engrossed in the competition. I don't know what it is, how they get me to watch, especially since most of the contestants sound like Alicia Keyes or Justin Timberlake and I wouldn't listen to Alicia Keyes or Justin Timberlake if someone paid me....well how much you offering?

It's still early and the final 12 results haven't come back yet but I'm routing for Constantine Maroulis the rocker (he even got me to call in and vote for the first time), you know the one that doesn't sound or look like Eddie Vedder. I think that Eddie Vedder looking mother-fucker's name is Po or Bo or something. I don't know he bores me. Just like Eddie Vedder, huh, funny that way.

Well American Idol is about to start and so I will take my leave.

Rock on Constantine, rock on!

Monday, February 21, 2005

What? Where's the Tea?

I just saw the long preview for Hitchhiker's Guide to the Universe at and oh man does it look great! They have really captured the look and the spirit of the book. I know where I'll be on April 29th, certainly not waiting in line to get tickets for the next crappy star wars movie. Keep your eyes open for 42.

Oh and if you're looking for a good Star Wars Episode IV time, check out it's so wrong but it's good fun.


Saturday, February 19, 2005

"You're not dealing with morons here"

A serious lack of creativity has caused me to create a new weekly feature, movie of the week. Some you may have heard of and seen, some maybe you haven't. In any case I make one promise, no Julia Roberts.


This week's movie, The Big Lebowski.

Joel and Ethan Coen's THE BIG LEBOWSKI finds Jeffrey Lebowski (Jeff Bridges) the victim of mistaken identity. Two thugs break into his apartment in the errant belief that they are accosting Jeffrey Lebowski, the Pasadena millionaire--not the laid-back, unemployed, `stuck in the 60s' Jeff Lebowski who calls himself the Dude. The Dude's first mistake is paying a visit to his wealthy namesake in the hopes of getting a replacement for his soiled carpet. But instead of a Persian loaner, our reluctant hero and his buddy Walter (John Goodman) are swept up in extortion, double-cross, deception, embezzlement, sex and dope. It takes guys as simple as the Dude and Walter to make a story this complicated...and they'd really rather be bowling.

Choice quotes:

Dude: And, you know, he's got emotional problems, man.
Walter: You mean... beyond pacifism?

[after showing him a clip from the porn movie starring Bunny]
Maude Lebowski: You can imagine where it goes from here.
The Dude: He fixes the cable?
Maude Lebowski: Don't be fatuous, Jeffrey.

The Dude: Fuck sympathy! I don't need your fuckin' sympathy, man, I need my fucking johnson!
Donny: What do you need that for, Dude?

Nihilist: We believe in nothing, Lebowski. Nothing. And tomorrow we come back and we cut off your chonson.
The Dude: Excuse me?
Nihilist: I said [shouting] "We'll cut off your johnson"!
Nihilist: Just you think about that, Lebowski.
Nihilist: Yeah, your wiggly penis, Lebowski.
Nihilist: Yeah and maybe we stomp on it and squoosh it, Lebowski.

Walter Sobchak: Nihilists! Fuck me. I mean, say what you like about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it's an ethos.

Walter Sobchak: This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass!

Fun trivia piece, Big Lebowski, at least at the time of it's release held the record for most usages of the word fuck in a movie. Now you know and knowing is half the battle!


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Thursday, February 17, 2005

Pin-up of the Week. The original, Bettie Page. Posted by Hello

Painting by Brian Froud. Posted by Hello

The Worst Times to Hve a Hangover

Found this list somewhere, thought I'd share it.

Your 11th birthday party

Annual balloon-popping and trumpet playing festival.

Your first day working at a steel mill.

Your first day working as a milk tester.

Your first day working as a milk tester in a steel mill.

Right before you realize your toliet doesn't work.

Alone in a field, naked, with blood on your hands.

The morning of your breakfast with Melissa Rivers and Ryan Seacrest.

Arbor day. (Have some respect for the trees, dude.)

Right before you board the world's smallest, fastest elevator.

The day after your first Alcoholics Anonymous meeting.

Your first day teaching second grade.

The day you learn to fly a helicopter.

The day you're forced to spend four hours staring into a spotlight.

While visiting your grandmother, who always smells like mustard and fish.

At the zoo.

At a bowling alley that's inside a boat that's going through a storm.

The day you learn everything about your 401(k).

Right before you meet the parents whose baby you agreed to adopt.


Monday, February 14, 2005

In honor of not celebrating Valentines day here's a twangy Lenore Comic. Posted by Hello

Sunday, February 13, 2005

Grumpy Old Men and Other Misfits of the Bookstore

Yesterday was one of the craziest days I've had at work in a long time. And when I say crazy I am of course referring to the customers. I work for Borders out here in DeKalb but it's not the first Borders I've worked for not even the first book store I've worked for and boy howdy I can tell you with a great deal of certainty we are a destination point for the craziest mother fuckers on the planet. Not my present store necessarily but bookstores overall, like the customer who wanted me to call websters and find out why the dictionary was not available on audio or the crazy one-legged man who used to stalk me from his hospital bed. This however is not their tale.

So yesterday started off fun. First thing I help a much older gentleman find a book. When I put it in his hands and he has the opportunity to look through it, it doesn't seem to be what he had expected but decides very grumpily to buy it anyways. As we are walking in the direction of the registers, he continues to grumble about the price for what's ended up being a very thin book. In the interest of customer service I tell him our return policy, that if he buys it and changes his mind he can return it with the receipt as long as it's in saleable condition within 30 days. He stops, looks at me as though I am insane and instantly gets pissed.

"You mean I can return this? You let people return books? That's no way to run a business! Hell half the books in this place have probably been read and returned!" the crazy old man says very loudly.

"Well sir we do rely on the honesty of our customers." is the only thing I can think to say having never even considered this aspect of our returns policy would put someone off.

"You can't run a business like that!" he says again then walks off.


Weird customer #2 I only overheard as he was being checked out at our registers. Also old and grouchy and loud this man complained to his cashier,

"99% of the books in this store are for women! And there all full of psycho-babble! Tell your manager I'm never shopping here again!" said the crazy old man with the white hair.

People are crazy.

Customer #3 who we'll call super manga boy since it seems derogatory enough is this crazy 20-something guy who comes in and has absolutely no idea how to relate and/or deal with people. He's the kinda guy who gives comic book fans a bad name. He's the only person I've ever dealt with how threatened to sue our distributors because his special order, Stepmother Sin an anime video about a kid who has a sexual relationship with his yes you guessed it stepmother, didn't come in as quickly as he would like. Well he came in yesterday to pick up another of his special orders another anime video about a busty android with a heart of gold and got mad at one of our sales staff cause she couldn't find something he wanted to order in our computer and when he gets mad, he yells.

I guess every cloud has a silver lining though there were these two old biker guys who came in to ask if any of the William Powell Thin Man movies were on DVD. Imagine that a scary biker dude who thinks William Powell is the man! We even have the same favorite Powell movie, Libeled Lady with Merna Loy and Spencer Tracy. It was a nice caper to a horrible day.

So in conclusion is you want to study the misfits of society, work retail.


Saturday, February 12, 2005

Pin-up of the Week Christina Aguilera. Posted by Hello

Thursday, February 10, 2005

I love this painting. Mike Hoffman is awesome. Posted by Hello

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Top 10 Ways George W. Bush Celebrated his Re-Election

10. Eliminated tax cut for 55 million Americans who voted for Kerry.

9. Went trippin' on a handful of Cheney's heart pills.

8. Thanked voters from all 59 states.

7. Splurged on the endless shrimp special at Red Lobster.

6. Pretended not to notice his father's envious weeping.

5. Dug out tapes of some of his favorite Texas executions.

4. You know the usual--watchin wrasslin' and eating yodels.

3. Immediately started planning his 2008 re-election bid.

2. Told prison guards to give Saddam an extra tasering.

1. Asked for Laura's help with a very different bulge under his suit.

Is there a more disgusting person on this planet and what the hell is with that fucking bulge in his pants? Posted by Hello

Sunday, February 06, 2005

Just messing around with a Snow White drawing I did while bored. Posted by Hello

Saturday, February 05, 2005

Rutger Hauer and Monique Vandenven Posted by Hello

Where Did All the Nudity Go?

Despite the fact that there were actually a few good movies this year I have to point out that there were a serious lack of good movies with nudity. Not that a good movie has to have nudity but nudity in a movie is like enjoying a chocolate/ peanut butter, Reeses Peanut Butter Cup, "two great tastes that taste great together". So without hesitation here is a list of classic movies with nudity.

My Top 10 Sexy Film List (in no particular order):

1. Scarlet Diva- Asia Argento's directorial debut was amazing, surreal but lonely & sweet and had an ending that could go either way. Most people say she lived but I'm not so sure. Did you know Blixa Bargeld was Asia's first choice to play the sexy musician? I can't wait to see her new movie, which will hopefully arrive later this year.

2. Quills- intense but highly sexual and very smart. Wins points in my book for the highly sinful priest and corpse sex scene. That was the one thing that Eternal Sunshine was missing, naked Kate Winslet. I had grown so accustom to seeing it, I miss it when it's not around.

3. Artemisia- Based on the real historical rape trial of Artemisia Gentileschi, this movie guesses what kind of a relationship the female artist and her artist mentor the accused Agostino Tassi may have shared. A strong feminine role and one of my favorite movies.

4. The Vampire Lovers- "Even the dead can love." Hammer's terriffically romantic, gothic- lesbian- horror- film staring Ingrid Pitt and Madeline Smith. The ending is so sad.

5. Russ Meyer's Supervixens- Sherry Eubanks, one actress two unbelievably sexy and entertaining characters; Super Angel and Super Vixen. Russ Meyer's most perfect movie of fast women with big tits and sexual excess. Russ Meyer was the man and let's have a moment of bouncing giggling girls in his honor.

6. Turkish Delight- Paul Verhoeven's first movie made in his native Holland. The story of an artist Eric (a very young and often naked Rutger Hauer) who meets a wild young woman Olga whose also very naked through most of the movie and often in public, they fall in love, she goes crazy and trouble ensues. Surprisingly fun while having a gut-wrenchingly sad ending. A story so personal Paul Verhoeven could never tell it now.

7. Russ Meyer's Vixen!- "Is she woman... or animal?" The first movie to receive the X rating. See it you'll never be the same again.

8. Swimming Pool- I just saw this one and was really impressed. A British author Sarah Morton (Charlotte Rampling) seeks the refuge of a quiet French manor to write her new book but ends up having to share the place with young sexy, vivacious, dangerous, and very, very naked Julie (Ludivine Sagnier). This is a mystery that had me going right up until the end.

9. The Governess- After her father passes away, Rosina (Minnie Driver) is forced to take a job as a Governess to a privileged Scottish family. But soon after she and the family father Charles (Tom Wilkinson) start a passionate affair. Oooh sexy.

10. Sirens- A young reverend and his wife are forever changed after visiting the home of eccentric artist Norman Lindsay. The film major focus however is the sexual awakening of the reverend's wife and the three artists models (who spend the majority of the movie quite naked) Portia De Rossi, Elle McPherson and Kate Fisher, help her to see the light.

Honorable Mentions- The Wicker Man- Fabulous mystery with a chilling ending, Gia- Could Angelina Jolie be more naked in that movie if she tried? Lord of the G-Strings- Alright it's not gonna win any oscars but this Misty Mundae vehicle is absolutely hilarious and worth a viewing.

This has been a really long post but it was fun to write.
It's official I'm a pervert.

Friday, February 04, 2005

A List No One Will Care About Except Me

Work is really depressing me lately so I thought I'd make a list of the things that are making me happiest in the world right now. You know give me a reason not to throw myself off a cliff. Or something like that.

The new Muppets action figures, and waiting for the new Muppet Wizard of Oz movie that should be on later this year.

The Hitchikers Guide to the Universe movie coming this summer.

The videos for Rock me Amadeus by Falco and What You Waiting For by Gwen Stefani.

The new Snoop Dog album. I can't believe I bought a Snoop Dog album.

Those Polar Bear cubs that were just born in Germany.

Bella Donna by The Legendary Pink Dots.

My purple and black skull and cross-bone platform gymshoes.

Doing crosswords with Aaron.

Newlyweds is back on.

Swan Lake by Madness.

The new Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper. (mmmm cherry vanilla)

Lizzie McGuire reruns.

Eating breakfast at The Junction.

Lala the song but not the video by Ashlee Simpson.

There's a new Harry Potter book and movie coming this year. Woohoo more to feed the fire of my terribly wrong crush on under-age Daniel Radcliffe.

Making CD's on I-Tunes.

Making lists like this one. God I'm lame.

Merna where are you? Are you doing okay? Feel free to email me if you need to blow off some steam.

Til next we meet,

I'm not a big fan of SMG but she is this week's Pin-up of the week because this is an unbearably cute picture. Posted by Hello

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

Don't Pull Your Love Out on Me Baby

That's kinda an obscene title huh.

But no! I mean it not in an obscene way! It is of course the classic song by Hamilton, Joe Frank & Reynolds. And one of the songs I have recently obtained by way of a box set shopping spree. In the last few days my boyfriend, Aaron and I have bought and spent lots of time listening to Have a Nice Day (the Rhino 70's pop culture box), Omigod (the 80's pop culture box), The Disco Box, and the R&B Soul Experince set (The coolest looking box of them all, it's shaped like a 3-D wooden 8-track case complete with fake 8-tracks, very, very cool.), and Downside Up the Siouxsie & the Banshees B-side collection.

And I've learned a lot by listening to all this pop music:

First that almost every song that was popular in the 70's was about Jesus, hardcore fucking, or marijuana. (Funny I suppose you could say the same thing about today's rap music.)

I really do hate Rod Stewart, a lot!

God I still know way too many of these songs by heart.

Rod Stewart still sucked in the 80's, in fact almost more.

Did you know the soundtrack of Jesus Christ Superstar was the number 1 album of 1971, disturbing.

Popcorn by Hot Buttered is really annoying.

Heartbeat by Don Johnson sucks even more today than it did in the 80s.

Yeah, there's no almost Rod Stewart did suck more in the 80's if you can imagine it.

On another musical note I was watching Vh1 classic and happened upon a sappy, syrupy, really awful, Chicago video for what song I cannot remember, but Peter Cetera was wearing a Bauhaus T-shirt. There is something so fucking wrong about that. There are so many things wrong with this world. Oh and my Christmas present from Aaron came in the mail yesterday. Invader Zim action figures! Zim, Dib, and Gir they are totally awesome! Zim comes with his spider legs, Dib with a desk and laptop, and Gir with a giant piggy! They are must haves for any huge fans of the show.

Hooray for giant piggies!

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

Cheaping out on writing again but enjoy this astro-groovy space alien and gal dancing drawing I did. Posted by Hello