Thursday, January 25, 2007

When did Barbie become such a slut?

While recently shopping at the local Wal-Mart I ran across the sluttiest looking doll I have ever seen...bright red lipstick, heavy glitter make-up, kinky, curly blond hair and a legwarmer skates combo... of course I had to buy it.

Meet Roller Girl Kennedy the newest member of the Barbie My Scene dolls.



Doesn't she looks like Heather Graham's character from Boogie Nights Rollergirl?



There are 4 of these roller girl themed dolls; Chelsea (the red head), Nolee(the raven haired asian), Madison (the haughty looking afro-american) and finally the Barbie stand-in Kennedy. No fair why can't Barbie play with the roller girls! Is it cause these dolls are soooo slutty looking and apparently based on fictitious porn stars they didn't want to sully the good name of Barbie? She already had a forced breast size reduction in the 90's what further indignities will this plastic icon have to suffer?

Chelsea and Kennedy

I ended up buying two dolls Kennedy and Chelsea and pulled the them out of their packaging as soon as I got home to play with the dolls and all their silly accessories, that's when I discovered just how flexible these Roller Girl dolls are. About 10 times more flexible than the regular My Scene dolls. So they are made up like cute little whores and bend in ways a yoga instructor could only dream. How flexible is that you ask? Well thanks to the magic of digital film I can show you.

Still not convinced these are the sluttiest dolls ever, well let's see if my camera and I can't do something about that:






Since Matel is now making dolls based on Porn stars maybe the next My Scene series should be called pregnant at 17. I've created a line prototype below using the My Scene Madison doll.



I should so work for Matel.

11 comments:

Scurvy said...

Hmmm. Too bad they aren't smaller. They'd fit welll in the back of the Street Whipz vans I picked up at my Wal-Mart.
By the way, those pictures are a riot.

Mob said...

Those are really disturbing.

The pics are a hoot, I especially liked the hot 'doll on doll' action.

Becca said...

Scurvy-
I was at the store today and noticed they sell Barbie My Scene convertables. I think I know the next toy I'm gonna buy.

Mob-
Glad to have amused and disturbed you.

MC said...

Becca, you have now won your third Homer Simpson Transmundanity Award, completing the second Transmundanity Triple Crown we've ever had at Culture Kills.

Congratulations.

Jess said...

I feel so dirty just looking at the photos. ;)

Dr. Zaius said...

cold, unresponsive and artificial - I've dated girls like that! A very nice photospread. Dont't get a job at Mattel, get a job at Vogue!

Jill said...

When they say taht kids are being imerge into sexual stuff at a more young age, this is the proof!! And you did really proof that they can be put as sexual thing!!

Shroom-Monkey said...

Hot damn, I gotta get those... that was sooo my 5th grade get up... seriously I was sent home sooo many times for showing up to school in a tube top, hot pants, hair in big teased pig tails and my roller skates... in fact, my next wedding- that is soooo what I want to wear!! totally!!

off to Walmart- thanks babe!!!

Becca said...

MC-
Hat trick, sweet!

Jess-
I know these dolls are so wrong...yet so right!

Dr. Zauis-
Can I use that quote on my resume'?

Jill-
I know and the weird part is that these dolls are far tamer then the far more popular Bratz dolls.

Shroom- Now that's a great mental picture! And if you ever do get an outfit like that wedding or no, I have some ideas for a few really great pictures.

Piper said...

Nicely done. I found this because of your major award. Congrats for being so twisted.

Becca said...

I always new my twisted nature would pay off!