Saturday, February 05, 2005

Where Did All the Nudity Go?

Despite the fact that there were actually a few good movies this year I have to point out that there were a serious lack of good movies with nudity. Not that a good movie has to have nudity but nudity in a movie is like enjoying a chocolate/ peanut butter, Reeses Peanut Butter Cup, "two great tastes that taste great together". So without hesitation here is a list of classic movies with nudity.

My Top 10 Sexy Film List (in no particular order):

1. Scarlet Diva- Asia Argento's directorial debut was amazing, surreal but lonely & sweet and had an ending that could go either way. Most people say she lived but I'm not so sure. Did you know Blixa Bargeld was Asia's first choice to play the sexy musician? I can't wait to see her new movie, which will hopefully arrive later this year.

2. Quills- intense but highly sexual and very smart. Wins points in my book for the highly sinful priest and corpse sex scene. That was the one thing that Eternal Sunshine was missing, naked Kate Winslet. I had grown so accustom to seeing it, I miss it when it's not around.

3. Artemisia- Based on the real historical rape trial of Artemisia Gentileschi, this movie guesses what kind of a relationship the female artist and her artist mentor the accused Agostino Tassi may have shared. A strong feminine role and one of my favorite movies.

4. The Vampire Lovers- "Even the dead can love." Hammer's terriffically romantic, gothic- lesbian- horror- film staring Ingrid Pitt and Madeline Smith. The ending is so sad.

5. Russ Meyer's Supervixens- Sherry Eubanks, one actress two unbelievably sexy and entertaining characters; Super Angel and Super Vixen. Russ Meyer's most perfect movie of fast women with big tits and sexual excess. Russ Meyer was the man and let's have a moment of bouncing giggling girls in his honor.

6. Turkish Delight- Paul Verhoeven's first movie made in his native Holland. The story of an artist Eric (a very young and often naked Rutger Hauer) who meets a wild young woman Olga whose also very naked through most of the movie and often in public, they fall in love, she goes crazy and trouble ensues. Surprisingly fun while having a gut-wrenchingly sad ending. A story so personal Paul Verhoeven could never tell it now.

7. Russ Meyer's Vixen!- "Is she woman... or animal?" The first movie to receive the X rating. See it you'll never be the same again.

8. Swimming Pool- I just saw this one and was really impressed. A British author Sarah Morton (Charlotte Rampling) seeks the refuge of a quiet French manor to write her new book but ends up having to share the place with young sexy, vivacious, dangerous, and very, very naked Julie (Ludivine Sagnier). This is a mystery that had me going right up until the end.

9. The Governess- After her father passes away, Rosina (Minnie Driver) is forced to take a job as a Governess to a privileged Scottish family. But soon after she and the family father Charles (Tom Wilkinson) start a passionate affair. Oooh sexy.

10. Sirens- A young reverend and his wife are forever changed after visiting the home of eccentric artist Norman Lindsay. The film major focus however is the sexual awakening of the reverend's wife and the three artists models (who spend the majority of the movie quite naked) Portia De Rossi, Elle McPherson and Kate Fisher, help her to see the light.

Honorable Mentions- The Wicker Man- Fabulous mystery with a chilling ending, Gia- Could Angelina Jolie be more naked in that movie if she tried? Lord of the G-Strings- Alright it's not gonna win any oscars but this Misty Mundae vehicle is absolutely hilarious and worth a viewing.

This has been a really long post but it was fun to write.
It's official I'm a pervert.


SamuraiFrog said...

Excellent list of film nudity, but there were so many more you could have pointed out. Some stars are so beautiful and so naked so often – Julianne Moore, Diane Lane, Nancy Allen, Theresa Russell, Brinke Stevens, Jennifer Connelly, Monica Bellucci, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Milla Jovovich, Asia Argento, Penelope Cruz, Lena Olin, Charlize Theron, Angelina Jolie, Kate Winslet – that it’s hard to pick. So, excepting them for now, here’s an alternate list of ten picks for great movie nudity:

10. Bully. Granted, this is not a movie to watch if you want to get off (it is an excellent movie, but hard to watch), but the constant moments of nudity from Rachel Miner and Bijou Phillips are so blase they’re almost stunning. Realistic, too – sweaty, with hair matted down and totally out of breath. The realism adds a lot.

9. Perhaps they’re not very long scenes, but I have to mention Shannon Elizabeth in American Pie alongside Phoebe Cates in Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Too many filmmakers have forgotten the one element needed in a teen comedy: tits. Seeing hot girls take their tops off is pretty much what being a teenager is all about. Shannon, who stopped taking her top off and watched her career die, ups the ante by masturbating to a girlie magazine. Excellent.

8. Indira Varma, the Indian equivalent of Bettie Page, spends a lot of Kama Sutra naked, and rightly so. Her eyes are her most amazing feature, but I do love her naked body, too.

7. Monster’s Ball. It’s a terrible movie (a stupid one, too), and the only reason anyone talked about it was because of the sex scene, featuring Halle Berry. It’s basically like a hardcore scene, thrusting with surprising violence. That’s the only reason this untalented hacktress won the Oscar in the first place. I believe the word “bravery” was misapplied to her performance...

6. Chicano three-way tie: Maria Conchita Alonso in Caught, Elizabeth Pena in Jacob’s Ladder, and Victoria Abril’s impressive screen time in the powerful Tie Me Up! Tie Me Down!.

5. Pretty Baby. Susan Sarandon lounges in her naked glory. God, I love Susan Sarandon.

4. Tarzan the Ape Man. You just don’t get many girls who are so comfortable in their nudity these days. Look at her roll around in the dirt as the end credits roll. Nice stuff.

3. Age of Consent. Helen Mirren, 17 at the time she made this, is naked throughout nearly the whole movie. This excellent Australian film is based on a Norman Lindsay novel about an old painter and a young girl experiencing her sexual awakening.

2. Mimi Rogers spends about 95% of her screen time in Full Body Massage naked, getting a massage. WOW!!!!!!!

1. Baise-moi. This awesome French movie is about two girls who go on a killing spree, but spend a surprising amount of time gobbling cock. Literally, right on screen, hardcore deep throating. And the girls are beautiful, too, especially Karen Bach. Excellent movie that demands to be seen.

And I’d like to make a special mention of Heather Graham, an actress I love who realizes that it doesn’t hurt your career much to be constantly naked. Although Ms. Graham has several classic movies to choose from, Killing Me Softly is the winner by far. It has the most screen time, and it’s the kinkiest (seriously, there’s a lot of complex tying up going on), and she’s just so god damn pretty.

Anyway, that’s just my opinion.

Anonymous said...

If yr talking about THIDAAT than I can't wait either. Right now JT is in Japan at a screening. Muse is looking for an American distributor so hopefully it will be out sometime this year. Did you read the book? Also did you know that there is a website for the film as well as a website for the author that details all the info surrounding it?