Thursday, September 28, 2006

The 8 Great Scenes in Bad, Bad Movies

Let's face it, we've all seen our share of bad movies, but what hurts even more than seeing a flat out bad movie is seeing one with a great performance or an unforgettable scene. So here is a list, in no particular order, of the greatest parts of a few bad movies.

1. Eric Bana vs Brad Pitt in Troy- Troy is a terrible, terrible, laughable movie but there is one bright shining moment a non-stop riveting fight scene between the Greek Achilles (Brad Pitt) and the Trojan prince Hector (Eric Bana). It's almost worth watching the movie just to catch this sure to skip over the near naked greased up Orlando Bloom at all costs however, it's frightening.

2. Watson Can-Cans in The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes- How can a comedy directed by Billy Wilder be so badly paced? It's an okay movie but nothing in it ever surpasses the energy of the first twenty minutes. Holmes played by Robert Stephens and Watson played by Colin Blakely attend a performance by a famous Russian ballet company, after the show Holmes goes backstage to speak with the prima and Watson gets to know the other ladies of the company leading to a frolicking can-can you will never forget...the rest of the movie however, you will forget.

3. Bruce Campbell has a smoke break in Crimewave- Sigh... this movie should have been great. Directed by Sam Raimi and written by Raimi with the Coen Brothers Crimewave was meant to be a spoof of the film noir genre but the producers wouldn't let Raimi cast Bruce Campbell in the lead so it ended up starring a talentless no-name and falling quickly into obscurity. The only scene of note features Cambpell in a bit part smoking a cigarette and through the magic of effects the smoke transforms into a woman. Visually brilliant.

4. A legendary flub in Jaws: The Revenge- This one is not intentional but it will provide much laughter. Everyone knows the Jaws films are about a killer shark stalking a family around the that's some shark...and in the fourth movie it finds the family in the Caribbean. Helping the Brody family defeat the toothy foe in Jaws 4 is the man who never said no to a paycheck Michael Caine is Hoagie Newcombe. Good ole' Hoagie is a pilot and at the end of the movie lands his hydroplane on the surface of the ocean a good 50 yards from shore. He gets out of the plane and some how manages to get to shore without getting wet. Now that's talent.

5. Jason Isaacs vs Mel Gibson in The Patriot- Okay I like this one, a lot actually, far more than I should...despite the fact that it's totally historically inaccurate or that Mel Gibson's kids don't age a day in several years but I love silly cheesy movies. In any case the stand out scene is between Mel's character Benjamin Martin and Col. William Tavington played by Jason Isaacs. In an earlier scene Tavington killed Benjamin son and meeting again for the first time Benjamin promises Tavington "When this war is over I'm going to kill you." and well to give away the ending, he does and apparently single handedly wins the American revolution. This man deserves a holiday.

6. A musical number in 8 Heads in a Dufflebag- 8 Heads is a throw away Joe Pesci comedy from the early 90's but it does have one bright spot. Pesci who works as a hit man has whacked you guessed it 8 people and has their heads in a bag so he can exchange them for his paycheck. In one wild dream sequence the heads come to life and sing a little song. It's magic.

7. A sophisticated foreigner in Kate and Leopold- This is a bad movie any way you look at it, but it shouldn't be. The plot in a nutshell: Meg Ryan plays a faux-smart modern girl in a modern world, Hugh Jack man plays a 19th century man whose somehow traveled forward in time. Of course they fall in love but there are complications along the way, one such complication is Kate's boyfriend/ boss whom Leopold one-ups in grand style. This is not a great movie but Hugh Jackman is so strong in it, it's worth watch just for him alone.

8. Brad Pitt dies in Meet Joe Black- This movie is so bad I couldn't make it thru the whole damn thing but it did give the world one thing Brad Pitt being horrifically run over by a mini-van. My boyfriend and I were so amused by this death scene that we re-wound and watched this scene over and over again. If you play close enough attention you'll notice the van has no driver. Sometimes I love DVD.

If you have any great scenes from bad movies please comment, I'd love to hear what there are!

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