Sunday, December 10, 2006

Christians Can be Crazy

I stumbled onto a link over at Zaius Nation for a suprisingly strange site called Jesus- Always With You. Put together by a man on a mission from god...

"I was awakened in the middle of the night with a clear, vivid impression that the Lord wanted me to do some special drawings -- drawings depicting ordinary people in their everyday environment . . . . with one important addition: the presence of Jesus Christ and His involvement in those routine activities."

Maybe it's just that I'm a bit of a heathen but I find his art unintentionally hilarious! I mean I know his intention was to put Jesus into scenes from everyday life but you gotta figure the son of god has better things to do then go to the dentist with you.

watch you lay carpet.

I mean fuck, Jesus if your gonna be there watching over my shoulder can't you lend a hand? I mean seriously Jesus the fact that I know your watching me all day makes me a little nervous. I feel like I should get a restraining order against Jesus.

More from Larry Van Pelt on his always with you project...

"It was also clear that the task would be allotted ten years to produce results -- an important consideration, considering the fact that I had never drawn anything before, had no training in drawing, and had never really been interested in drawing.

After a few years of self-study, and then three months training by an accomplished artist/instructor (a missionary on a one year sabbatical), the skills to accomplish the task began to unfold. These skills were honed by the drawing of wild animals and Christmas cards featuring our grandchildren. Finally, with much apprehension, I began the drawings of people in everyday situations, selecting those occupations, tasks, etc. that could be readily recognized. After completing nearly twenty drawings, the time arrived for the crucial task of including an image of Jesus in the drawings. A search for a suitable model to represent Jesus resulted in the selection of a young man who happened to be 33 years old! (the supposed age of Jesus at the end of His earthly ministry); had the length of hair and other physical characteristics often associated with images of Jesus; was willing to grow a beard; and, most importantly, was a devoted Christian. The inclusion of the image of Jesus in the drawings of ordinary people's lives was begun during the final year of the ten year task, and the completed drawings seemed to naturally fit the scripture: ". . I am with you always, even to the ends of the earth" (Matthew 28:20). Hence, a portion of that scripture, the phrase "With you always", became the title for the finished product(s)."

Sigh...I wish I could say I had been moved by his mission but now I'm just kind of freaked out. At least there aren't any images of Jesus watching you in the bathroom or dressing. But if he's always there...

Could you back up a little Jesus I'd prefer you not steal my PIN.


Anonymous said...

While I think these are well drawn, I must agree that they are super creepy. Why doesn't he depict less than mundane situations? Someone involved in extreme sports for example? Imagine Jesus bungee jumping off a bridge. Why not the darker side of people? Jesus in the passenger seat of a drunk driver, or looking over the shoulder of a stalker. If there is more than one there more than one Jesus in the picture over their shoulders too? head is spinning.


SamuraiFrog said...

I think I heard somewhere that everyone has their own personal Jesus. I think it was in 2 Corinthians, or something. I don't get Jesus wasting time at the bank; what, is the guy going to accidentally write out the wrong amount of cash he's depositing? Damn, can't this guy think of something more exciting for his invisible friend to do, like foil al-Qaeda or fight dragons or something equally mythological.

Jill said...

I think that those picture, with a humorous quote could help maybe raised the interest in Jesus. Cuz, damn, they are funny in a creepy way!!
And why take 10 years to do those drawing? I think he didn't believe at first that Jesus was with him.

Dr. Zaius said...

The first thing I noticed is that the way that Jesus is drawn. He looks just like a drug dealer I knew I knew in high school!

Also, in many of the drawing Jesus looks like he is just about to scare the bejeesus out of the person he is hovering over. (frenchhorn, cook, forest ranger) I kind of like the idea - Jesus as the Trickster God, always messing with you.

I really like the Skull Cave, I've been reading it since I found it in October. Thank you for the link to my site on your blog.

I am surprised that you found the "Jesus-Always With You" link in the mess I've got in my sidebar!

Favorite from the "Girls With Guns Index:"

Definitely Diana Rigg, with Milla Jovovich a close second.

Favorite film from the "Overlooked Movie Index," in order of preference:

Return to Oz
Buckaroo Banzai
The Omega Man
The Dark Crystal
The Seven Samurai
Time After Time

Did you ever see the overlooked New Zealand film, "The Quiet Earth"?

Anonymous said...

Those illistrations aren't so much hilarious as they are frightening.

Anonymous said...

Ok so when I'm getting money out from the ATM Jesus is standing there watching me like that?

Now the bank people they go on and on about PIN security...

What am I supposed to do now?

Becca said...

You are right these are very well drawn. And yeah I'd love to see Jesus in the back seat of a fast moving car waggling his finger at a drunk driver. Hilarious!

Dude, Jesus has nothing but time on his hands, it's not as though he can interfere with that Christian idea of free will. Besides he looks too high to tie his shoes, let alone save the world from terrorism.

I'm not sure I believe Jesus was ever with him.

Dr. Zaius-
Man your right, Jesus does look like he's about to lurch forward and scare the crap out of the person in front of him. Boy Jesus is a dick.

And thanks for the kind words about the blog, glad your enjoying it. I only discovered Zaius Nation a few days ago but I have really been enjoying it. I knew only psychos could vote a man like George W. Bush into office.

And I haven't seen The Quiet Earth but will check it out.

Now I know what to get you for Christmas.

Jesus needs your PIN so he can get more money to pay for his drugs. Man whatta life.