Sunday, February 04, 2007

Angie Bowie's Audition Pictures

Did you know that David's ex; Angie Bowie tried out for the role of Wonder Woman in the telefilm they made before the 70's TV series. There have been a plethora of claims as to why she didn't get the role including she refused to wear a bra (Yeah right! No one ever gor kicked off TV for refusing to wear a bra.) in anycase here is an excerpt from her autobiography on the subject:

"I went at it seriously. I bought Wonder Woman comics and felt out the character, I developed a logic for how to play her, and I got myself a costume. I had Natasha Korniloff make one that came right out of the comic-book pages, and it was a gas. Man, did I look good: a tiny wasp waist, legs going on forever, lustrous long black hair, even artfully padded, projectile-pointy Wonderbreasts! And to make the illusion more than complete, I had the marvelous Terry O'Neill do a photo session.

And off to Hollywood I went, in an energized cloud of creative enthusiasm and superheroine spunk.

Well, what a joke. First I showed them the photographs, which totally flabbergasted the director- things were going well so far- but then, before I went to my dressing room to don the stipulated turtleneck, some woman from the studio came up to me.

"I see you're not wearing a bra," she said. "You have to wear one for the screen test. It's mandatory."

I couldn't believe it. I hadn't worn a bra for years. "Well, if that's what you want, okay," I said. "But I think you're going to have a problem finding one small enough."

She didn't like that very much, but she walked off, and I went to the dressing room.

I was slipping into the turtleneck when someone knocked on the door and then opened it without waiting for a response. It wasn't the woman I expected; it was some nondescript, mildly unattractive man. He came in and introduced himself, then started making small talk, and then started touching me. The scumbag was coming on to me, virtually feeling me up!

I couldn't believe it. I just looked at him. "What are you doing? Who on earth do you think you are?"

"I'm one of the writers," he said, as if that information would immediately convince me to lie back and spread 'em.

It didn't. "So what?"

That seemed to take him aback. He paused, perplexed - this must have been a precedent-breaking turn of events for him, requiring unfamiliar responses. "You do know I wrote the script for ------, don't you?"

I thought about that for a moment, examining my memory of the movie, a famous black exploitation film.

"You're proud of that?" I asked in my very best finishing-school-prefect manner. "I'm supposed to be impressed? Don't you know, you awful little man, that script was truly wretched, and moreover it was the only bad element of an otherwise wonderful production? Now take yourself out of my dressing room before I fucking kill you!"

He left, and needless to say, I considered myself out of the running for the part from that moment on. I decided to go through the motions, though, but I also decided I needed protection, so I got Michael Lippman to come and sit with me in the dressing room.

That's when I got the really bad news. Michael listened to I my tale of woe and outrage, then told me.

"Angie, it's okay," he said. "You were never going to get the part anyway. You weren't even in the running; nobody auditioning is. Lynda Carter's already got the part, you see. All this is just a performance to satisfy the unions, and we're taking advantage of it to get you on Johnny Carson. So really, don't worry about it."

Don't worry about it? You mean, Don't rip your dick off and stick it in your ear, Michael, and then hop a first-class flight back to London and do the same to Tony lying-cheating-manipulating-woman-hating lowlife vermin Defries? Or more to the point, don't blow this pop stand right now, bolt out of here and not even consider showing up on Carson? Don't blow you guys' cozy little can job sky-high and let you crawl around for the pieces?

None of that was actually said, mind you, although sometimes I wish it had been, and even that it had been done. Maybe not to Michael, whom I like and actually respect, but certainly to old Kinky Big-Nose Defries, as we called him."

There have been alot of claims that Angie exaggerated alot of what was written in this book and it has been pointed out by quite a few people that Lynda Carter wasn't even in the mix at this point. Cathy Lee Crosby played Wonder Woman in the film and it would have been her that had been cast, not Lynda. So take this story with a grain of salt.


John said...

Those are two of the most horrifyingly gruesome photographs it has ever been my ill fortune to encounter. Thank goodness Angela Bowie is a psychotic that no one in the real world would ever hire to do anything at all.huck

Becca said...

They are pretty bad! She is just waaaay to thin to pull that costume off. And yes as far as psychotic ex-rock stars go she may be the craziest. She has a leg up on some of the world's other population of psychos as well.