Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Kate Beckinsale? WTF?

Kate Beckinsale as Barbarella? That's who they say may get the part now? Somehow she's worse than Sienna Miller. Peter Webber who directed one of my favorites Girl with a Pearl Earring is set to direct, but without a fabulous lead why bother make this.

and what's this about Laurence Kasden writing a script for a remake of Clash of the Titans? Yes that Clash of the Titans, you know the Harryhausen classic from 1981. 81's Clash only works as pure brilliant cheese with great stop-motion effects, so unless he's planning huge changes for the story and tone I just don't think a remake will work.

Sometimes Hollywood really depresses me...


Scurvy said...

Why must they fuck with our classic movies? Clash of the Titans is one movie that just doesn't need to be remade. They got it so very right the first time, and all the CGI in the world couldn't improve it. It's one of my favorites, and probably has infulenced me more than any other movie. It got me into mythology as a kid, and ultimately put me in the direction I went as an artist.

Now a movie they should make is the story of Theseus. That would rock. Cool backstory, crazy king, minotaur, super hot women, labyrinth... god, this movie is just begging to be made. Sorry for the rant.

primalscreamx said...

I could see a more developed version of Clash of the titans working. The pacing was a bit quick for the story. I liked the stop animation at the time and was reasonably impressed by Burgess Meredith's turn in the film -not to mention Lawrence fucking Olivier? What was he thinking?
If they went grittier... more like Gladiator than Lord of The Rings, it could be an improvement.
They'll probably screw it up.

Dr. Zaius said...

Kate Beckinsale as Barbarella? Possibly yummy. How about Kate Beckinsale as Vampirella? Definately double yummy!

But "Clash of the Titans" - Laurence Kasden is writing a script for a remake of "Clash of the Titans"? What, did these guys wake up and say let's make a remake of "Clash of the Titans" because the origianl script was just SO GOOD? LOL! Harryhausen's special effects are the only thing that carried that movie!!!

Even Laurence Olivier, Maggie Smith, Ursula Andress, Burgess Meredith, and Harry Hamlin couldn't save that picture! Harryhausen carried that whole movie! Now they are going to attempt to remake the movie by redoing the script?!?! The script was the weakest part of the film!

MC said...

Hey I feel all of your pain about Clash of the Titans... I was a fan of Assault of Precinct 13, and I have been very supportive of Kurt Russell vs. the people who want to remake Escape from NY.

I am thinking about how we would all be taking this news if it wasn't a remake of Clash of the Titans, but a new movie based on Perseus.

SamuraiFrog said...

I'd love to see more movies based in Greek mythology, but remaking Clash of the Titans?

I'd love to see a movie based on Perseus that wasn't a remake of Titans. Harryhausen pulled in bits from other myths, anyway (most notably Pegasus, who appears in the Bellerophon myth--Perseus had winged shoes borrowed from Hermes). That said, I'd also like to see movies based on Hercules (good ones), Theseus, and Troy (again, a good one), too.

Becca said...

I join in your sigh! They fuck with our classic movies because they can't help it and because they can't think of anything else to do.

And Theseus would make a cool movie. There is a wealth of Greek mythology to tap into and they just want to remake Clash of the Titans?

They could try to develop it more if they were going to remake it but I could see them going too far and wringing all the humor out of it. You are right no matter what they do they'll probably screw it up.

Dr. Zaius-
Ahhh the good doctor and I disagree on Kate Beckinsale, she's such an awful actress and she's (at least in my opinion) not all that attractive. I guess her post-boob-job stretch marks freak me out a bit.

And yeah Laurence Kasden the man who gave us Mumford and Grand Canyon is writing a script for Clash of the Titans...I suppose that means that Perseus will be having a midlife crisis to a Motown soundtrack.

Poor John Carpenter! They will not stop badly remaking his films! And I would be thrilled to hear they were making an original movie about Perseus, but since Clash of the Titans has very little to do with the Perseus myth...

Here here! Maybe someday we'll get another good Greek mythology movie...of course I've forgotten about 300 which was great course that was mostly based on history but the movie treds the line between reality and mythology.

I wish they'd make a good version of Troy...sigh...

Dr. Zaius said...

Acting!?!? Acting!?!? What does acting got to do with it? Kate Beckinsale will forever be a latex goddess in my mind for her role as Selene in the film "Underworld." Vampires, werewolves, latex bodices, silver-nitrate anti-wolfman bullets, dysfunctional family squabbles that spanned generations, this film had everything! (Yes, the sequel was indeed a mess, though.)

I am surprised that you didn't like that film. I am no great fan of her otherwise. She did do a passable job as the character of Hero in the film "Much Ado About Nothing."

As far as her post-boob-job stretch marks that have unfortunately freaked you out, it's all about the latex vampire-soldier outfit for me. "More talcum powder for Ms. Beckinsale!"

I don't really think that you can blame Ms. Beckinsale for the trainwreck that was "Van Helsing." That film was very visually interesting, but only in segments or vingettes. On the whole it was Leonard Pinth Garnell material.

the job of rewriting the already bad script of "Clash of the Titans" by Laurence Kasden is just foolishness. Samurai Frog said it better than I did. Instead of rewriting a bad script that is only passingly based on the Greek myths, why not just start some from the source? The iconic power of the old Greek myths is deeply rooted in the modern mass media psyche. We are just telling the same stories over and over that the Ancient Greeks told long ago, only with far more annoying commercials.