Wednesday, February 20, 2008


It's official. Hollywood has run out of ideas.

From Variety:
Universal Pictures has announced a six-year partnership with Hasbro to produce at least four feature films based on branded properties. The properties include “Monopoly,” “Candy Land,” “Clue,” “Ouija,” “Battleship,” “Magic, The Gathering” and “Stretch Armstrong.”

The deal comes after the successful screen transformation of the Hasbro property “Transformers,” which DreamWorks and Paramount turned into a Michael Bay-directed global hit, and which has a sequel scheduled to begin production this year.

Kill me.

On another note, while looking for a picture to accompany this post I came across the image below. The key words I used were sexy-candy-land. I have no clue who would refer to this picture in that way. Do people have sex fetishes for Jesus?


MC said...

Ridley Scott is supposed to be doing Monopoly. I imagine the other 3 movies will be Candy Land, Magic: The Gathering and Stretch Armstrong.

Do I have any hope that any of those movies will be any good? Well, Clue was a fun movie.

SamuraiFrog said...

Yes, people have sex fantasies about Jesus. They're called Christian "rock" singers. Listen to the lyrics. I think they want Jesus's divine love all over their faces.

Ridley Scott doing Monopoly sounds about as much fun as a rectal exam from a fish hook. Or watching Clue. Same thing.

Captain Incredible said...

Hasbro's marketing guys probably ran up scripts during the strike...

As for the Jesus thing - all I can say is

"I've been from one end of this galaxy to the other and I've seen a lot of strange things..."

Nothing like this, however...

Anonymous said...

The difference between Transformers and the other properties is that Transformers was a popular cartoon show. In other words, there was an established narative to draw upon.

I guess this is just further proof that the suits at Hasbro (like Disney) only know how to rebrand, not how to come up with anything new.

Dean Wormer said...


I think they want Jesus's divine love all over their faces.

If I was a religious guy I might be offended.

But since I'm not- I'm laughing my ass off.

Ben Varkentine said...

It was even funnier when South Park did it first.

Scurvy said...

Huh. Now how the F do they plan on making a movie out of "Monopoly"?!?

Who are they gonna get to play the boot?

Steve said...

Who are they gonna get to play the boot?


I don't know but I want to be the iron

Randal Graves said...

Ridley Scott? Oh, that makes me want to blow up furry little animals.

Unknown said...

Off the subject of the sexy Jesus, I just wanted to say that your website and blog helped me get through the last few months of my deployment.

SamuraiFrog said...

Wasn't There Will Be Blood the big screen version of Monopoly?

Swinebread said...

Jesus in sexy-candy-land

I can see your next drawing Becca!

Becca said...

That is true thanks to an amazing cast that movie is a lot of fun...but I'm not sure they could pull something like that off today.

Gosh who would they cast in Clue if they made it today?

LOL!!! Better watch out or Stryper will come after you for insulting them.

I could just see it now some marketing exec hunched over his computer monitor excitedly writing... "this'll blow 'em away and those Hollywood types will finally see what I'm capable of"...

It's just so much easier to market something everyone knows pre-existing narritive or not. Of course that doesn't mean they should but I'm sure it's hard to say no to the piles of money My Little Pony the movie would make.

Me too, me too!

That's a fab episode. I love Cartman's video on the beach. Cracks me up every time.

Check out SamuraiFrog's blog and find out!

Mickey Rooney.

I know it's horrible but lets not go doing anything we might regret...let's blow up Mickey Rooney instead! :)

Glad to be of service! Does this mean you are home now? Glad you made it through okay!


Swinebread- know I think I might just take a crack at this one!

MC said...

If they did Clue again, they'd probably cast it MUCH younger.

Asylum-ET said...

by the looks of a Google search you are the only one who would label an image of Jesus as sexy-candy-land being yours is the only one that shows for that search.

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